1- Nurture your internal world. Jobs change, people drift, and your external world will continue to shift. But there’s one constant which is you. All the feelings you relish and suffer through are happening within you, and you have more power over them than you think. When bad things happen to you, remind yourself that you’re your own powerful ally in your life’s fight. When good things happen, linger on your feelings for longer.

• Focus on making your mind a warm, comfortable place for you to live your life. You may not be able to control the world around you, but you can control the world inside of you.
• Though, the goal isn’t to be totally impenetrable (at the end of the day, even our negative emotions give life color and meaning!). But in time, you can learn to avoid the bulk of life’s needless stress and overall, become a more resilient person.
• Remind yourself that you control your inner life. Use breathing exercises to calm yourself. Speak to a therapist. Try to actually picture a cozy terrarium in your mind—a healthy, limited space, that you can tend to and make safe.

2- Love yourself, accept yourself—and be curious about yourself. You hear it everywhere—love yourself! Though it can sound easier than it is in practice, loving yourself is still worth the effort. You’re going to spend your whole life in this body, this heart, and this mind. No one will ever understand your struggle quite like you will. In a way, your relationship with yourself might be the most important one you have in your life, and so if that connection is toxic, the burden of that can be heavy.

• Embrace what makes you unique. You can spend your whole life hating your crooked nose or forgetfulness—or you can accept it’s part of what makes you, you!
• Quit comparisons. Think about yourself as a kid—wouldn’t you hate to feel that that person wasn’t giving themselves enough credit, and instead, was focusing on how they didn’t feel good enough (when they were)? In ten years, you might feel the same way about you, now.
• Forgive yourself. The truth is, everyone makes mistakes. No amount of shame or guilt can undo the past, and that’s okay. Now, focus on accepting yourself and being better in the future. You deserve it.

3- Cut dependency from your life. It’s a tough pill to swallow—but the people you love aren’t perfect. There’s no single person, job, city, or passion that can make or break your happiness. The more you rely on external things to give your life meaning and to keep you satisfied, the more flimsy your foundation becomes. You are the only person you can truly rely on—but that’s okay, because you’re a great person to have on your side.

• Even your closest friends and family will slip up sometimes. They might not treat you exactly in the way that you deserve, and that’s okay. Focus on forgiving, accepting, and loving them anyway, instead of expecting others to be perfect.
• Though we can’t rely completely on external sources of love, we can always control how much love we give to others.
• If you find yourself in a position where you feel you’ve lost a bedrock in your life—a spouse, a job, a family member—let yourself feel that loss. And when you’re ready, begin searching for new meaning in your life (trust us, it’s there).

4- Don’t try to change people around you; love them as they are. Again, it all comes back to that idea: you can’t control other people. They’re their own person—and the more that you try to change them, the more you might find that they pull away from you. It’s not about who’s right or wrong, but rather, the fact that we’re all on our own journeys. You can’t make someone more organized, more attentive, or more open without their active participation.[4]

• But here’s a secret tip: you can love them anyway. If you know you have someone in your life who’s amazing (and who you want to keep around), focus on giving them warmth and kindness—rather than seeing their life as your personal project.
• Sometimes, people will ask for your help when they want to change, especially partners. If you wait until they ask you, that means you’re allowing them to grow on their own terms, which is what we all deserve to do.
• This idea, though, is separate from abuse and harassment. If you’re being abused, not only can you not change them, but you shouldn’t wait around or try to love them through it. Speak to someone close to you and focus on being safe.

5- Never stop learning. The more that you understand and the more that you’re exposed to, the more full your life will feel. Knowledge is more than just facts and skill sets—it’s the confidence you carry into every interaction, and it can bring peace in stressful moments. Look for ways to keep expanding your horizons, and don’t limit yourself to formal academics. There are so many ways to learn!

• When someone has a unique opinion, listen. Every unconventional POV is another chance for you to better understand the world. For best effects, focus on listening without judgment.
• Don’t be afraid to change your mind. Life is long, so if your mindset changes throughout it, that makes total sense. You don’t have to have the same set of opinions from start to finish, and in fact, that might be a sign that you’re not open-minded enough.
•  Read as much as you can. Challenge yourself if that’s what motivates you (why not make it your goal to learn the world capitals by the month’s end?). Expose yourself to ideas that you disagree with.