Some parents are surprised to find that their son or daughter, who is talkative and extroverted at home, becomes withdrawn, and silent around children she does not know at school or in child care. The following points will help you understand your child's social world and how to play a positive role in it:
• Who are your child's friends? What do they do when they are together?
• How do you prepare your child for social situations that make him nervous? How do you help your child during these situations? Have you ever used shyness as an excuse to excuse your child from challenging social activities?
• Have you discussed your child's shyness with his or her teacher, coach, or caregiver? What were their suggestions? Did your child's behavior change when you tried these methods?
• How much emphasis and emphasis is placed on learning social or life skills in your child's classroom? How much time is allocated for individual and group play?
• How has your child's shyness changed over the school year or since he or she went to child care? How much is your child struggling in school? How superior and distinctive is it? Does your child turn to you for advice on how to deal with problems at school? What is your child's reputation at school?
• How does your child occupy his free time (eg sports or after-school lessons)? How much free time does your child not use for something useful? How much time does your child spend doing individual activities?
If you find it difficult to answer these questions, you should know more about your child and his world before you can help him overcome shyness. You should find ways to talk to your child and build trust and companionship. These questions are a good start. Therefore, go to your child and ask him about his friends, the activities he does, and his feelings. Furthermore, take steps to get your child involved in many of your usual daily activities – such as running special errands, preparing dinner, going to social events, and likewise getting more involved in your child's daily activities. Your child may feel more excited about joining a soccer team, for example, if he knows you will attend his games and ask him about his practices and his coach.
If you find it easy to answer these questions, this is an indication that you know a lot about your child. You may have a clear idea of the problems related to shyness that you would like to find solutions to, but do not make this the end all. Since you already have an intimate relationship with your child, make him talk to you in bold conversations about his shyness. This will help him dispel his fears about certain social situations...
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