10:51:1 
2022-09-24 
641
How to make your brain notice the grey color?
Some people tend to think in “black and white “way, and doesn’t accept a middle color.
and it is very similar to the logical thinking of two parts dividing , like true and false , which also can divide some ideas to its basic elements , like animals (speaking and not speaking ) and words ( noun , verb , etc.) . And this type of thinking is useful in logical, scientific and philosophical matters, and can’t be useful in social relationships matters.
So, it is incorrect that couples think in “black and white” way, without a possibility for a “grey color “, and a wife is either 100% good or not good at all!!
Or the student is either 100% clever or he is a failure!
Or that my friend has to be flawless!!
Or an employee must be 100% perfect in his job, or he will be refused!
They are thinking in a much closed way!
This way in dealing with the social relationship, always cause social, ethical, psychological and family problems to the person who use it.
And their family life get ruined for a simple reason , and their friends stay away from them and become very close to problems … and get controlled by tension and stiffness in the way of treating others … because they prefer to get a strict answer , either black or white !
To train your brain for casting away this stiff way of thinking, you have to untie the knots that surround your thinking and train your brain to expect all possibilities. In other words, to see the grey color between black and white.
And these are three ways to make your brain notice the grey color:
Reflex the idea on yourself and say: “what if I was in his place?”, whether it is your wife, your husband, your friend or your student. And think about the reasonable thoughts to excuse them, and use it as a way of forgiveness.
Think about their circumstances, and this will provide you with many ways of flexible methods of thinking and to avoid anxiety and anger.
Ethical and religious thinking, many sayings by the prophet and his progeny (peace be upon them) insisted on the flexible and well thinking, and not to rush for accusing them; like:
Al-Imam Ali (peace be upon him) said: (don’t be strict with your brother because of suspicious, and don’t leave him without a reproach, because he may have an excuse while you are blaming him)
And he (peace be upon him) said: (who thinks badly, imagines badly).
And he (peace be upon him) also said :( who thinks badly, expects treason from who won’t betray him).
And there is a common saying “ make seventy excuse of well intention for your brother “ and even if it is not a holy saying , but it encourages to teach ourselves not to haste with judging people with only “black and white“ colors .
Remember the results of your social relations; and how it became; whether good and positive or problems and ruins? Repeat it on yourself to get use on thinking in a wider way of possibilities.
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