8:57:37 
2024-03-27 
510
Confronting oneself and holding oneself accountable is the first step in correcting the mistakes we make. It was narrated on the authority of Imam Commander of the Faithful Ali (peace be upon him):
(Whoever holds himself accountable will recognize his faults, be aware of his sins, remove the sins, and correct the faults.)
When the individual weighs the ugliness of his act, and feels the ugliness of his offense to others, remorse will arise, which is the drive towards apologizing to those whom we have wronged or harmed.
The culture of apology is not a formal procedure framed by courtesies that lacks content and reality. Rather, it should be in the following ways:
Expressing remorse: Expressions of regret, apology, and facial features are all signs that should emanate from genuine remorse on the part of the offending person toward the one he offended. What comes from the heart reaches the heart!
Acknowledgment of responsibility: A true apology cannot be complete unless the offender acknowledges full responsibility and bears the responsibility for his mistake and the ugliness of his transgression. Otherwise, the oppressed and offended person will continue to harbor the pain of injustice and offense within himself, no matter how many words of regret and apology we hear.
Avoid creating excuses: Using excuses to justify a mistake as an attempt to relieve the pressure of a pang of conscience is considered more ugly than the abuse itself, and is it an abuse added to the previous one?! This method is far from a true apology and is a way of circumventing it to justify the insult and cause embarrassment to the person who has been wronged and offended.
Asking for forgiveness and amnesty: Hearts after abuse are difficult to repair and heal.
Asking forgiveness and amnesty is an essential step after apologizing. To remove disharmony and hatred, when a person feels that the wrongdoer has become remorseful and repudiates his crime, and asks for forgiveness and pardon, this improves his feelings and arouses within him the spirit of forgiveness, love, and peace.
Credibility: An insincere apology is worse than not apologizing at all. Because it indicates a lack of awareness of the ugliness of the bad act, and indicates the offender’s neglect of taking responsibility for his mistake, and it will also double the anger of the hurt person.
Writing an apology: It may be difficult to confront the person from whom we want to apologize. Taking the initiative to send a paper or electronic message that includes a statement of our position by acknowledging the mistake, apologizing, and requesting pardon and forgiveness opens the door to reconciliation and clearing hearts through tolerance.
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