Every individual, whether shy or not, has a comfort zone made up of familiar places, people, and activities. Let's explore the social aspect of your personal comfort zone through the following points:
• Write a list of the names of the people you deal with in your normal day and the nature of each interaction with each one of them. Is this list longer or shorter than you expected?
• Put a mark (×) next to the name of each person on the list with whom you feel comfortable, and a mark (√) next to those with whom you feel uncomfortable. What traits distinguish both types of people?
• Draw a star next to the name of each person on the list with whom you could develop an intimate relationship. How can you change your interactions with them for that purpose? How will you find that opportunity? What's stopping you from doing this?
• What social etiquette did you do today? What was the reaction you got? How do you feel then?
• What social activities do you enjoy? How often do you do these social activities? What activities would you like to try? Who will be interested in your participation in these activities?
• Make a list of those in your life who you consider shy. Have you ever discussed their shyness before? What did you do to help them overcome their shyness? How does their behavior change when they are in social situations that make them stressful? What do you like and don't like about their shyness?
If your comfort zone is smaller or more rigid than you would like you will find that when you expand your child's comfort zone, you will expand your own comfort zone as well. As you bring new people, places, and experiences into your child's life, you too will encounter those new elements....
If your comfort zone is large and expands easily, you can start immediately, but note that while you can expand your comfort zone easily, and perhaps without effort or thought, you must make this process clear to your child. When you help your child warm up in preparation for new social situations, you should take the time to explain what you are doing, and remind your child of all the familiar elements of the surrounding environment.
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