Mastering Friendly Conversation
3:40:46 2023-09-22 166

1- Master small talk. Knowing how to make small talk will go a long way in making you friendlier. Maybe you have a hard time making small talk because you're too busy, distracted, or just shy. But it's not as hard as it sounds. All you have to do is make the person feel comfortable, find some common ground, and reveal a little bit about yourself. If you get more comfortable, then you can start digging deeper and discuss more personal issues.

  • Some people think that small talk is completely superficial, but it's not. All good friendships and relationships start out with a bit of small talk. You can't just jump in and talk to a new person about the meaning of life, can you?
  • You can even make small talk with the checkout person just to be nice. Make a comment about the weather, say something about the addicting tasty guacamole you're buying, or compliment that person's jewelry. It'll make you feel more positive and it'll make your day go by faster.
  • Just like any skill, it takes practice to get good at small talk. Make an effort to practice small talk as often as possible throughout your day. You might start by asking a question (“Have you read this book? Is it any good?”) or commenting on something in your environment (“Wow, the flowers are really blooming! I’m so glad it’s finally spring.”).


2- Ask people questions about themselves. If you want to be friendly, then you have to show a real interest in people. They have to see that you really care about who they are, what they think, and what they do. If you want to be friendly, then you have to ask people a variety of simple questions that show them you care. You shouldn't ask anything too personal or they might get offended, though; stick to some of the same topics first and move on from there once you know them better.

3- Compliment others. Complimenting people -- when you mean it -- will make you seem and feel like a much friendlier person. Just a small compliment given at the right time will make people think, "They’re really nice!" and will make them feel more comfortable and happy to be in your presence. You don't have to compliment anything too serious, especially at first, and you can just say something nice about the person's jewelry, outfit, haircut, or even say that the person has a great sense of humor.

  • When you're talking to someone, ask yourself, what's one awesome quality this person has that I would like to compliment? You should come up with one pretty quickly.


4- Use people's names when you talk to them. This is a simple yet effective trick to making people like you more and to seem friendlier. If you use people's names, you show them that you care about them and that you can really distinguish them as individuals. You don't have to overdo it to get the point across. Just saying, "Hi, Ellen!" when you greet the person, or saying, "You're completely right about that, Ashley," in the course of a conversation will make you seem like a friendlier person.

  • If a person you've just met tells you their name, using it once or twice throughout your conversation will make you remember it for next time.


5- Know when you're giving people the cold shoulder. Some people are unfriendly without even realizing it. If someone has given you a big "Hi!" and is approaching you while slowing down, this is because that person wants to talk to you; if you just say "hey," and keep walking, then you'll look rude. You may think that you're just giving off a neutral or a busy vibe, but that may often come off as unfriendly.

  • If you don't hold doors for people or smile at them when they smile at you, and avoid looking in the direction of people you don't know even if they're standing right next to you, then you'll look rude without even knowing it.
  • A little common courtesy and good manners can go a long way toward helping you connect with others. Just saying “thank you” or opening a door for someone can brighten their day or even lead to a friendly conversation.


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