الوضع الليلي
12:4:9 
2025-09-08 
2785
Sidney, father of Haim and a sales manager, woke up thinking about the weekly sales meeting he was to lead later that day. He reflected: Sales have been declining for the past four months… despite everyone’s hard work. What’s really needed is a motivational meeting that will energize the team.
As he was getting dressed, he couldn’t help but notice his wife Alicia’s silence and her scornful look. She was still angry about something he had done the previous day, though she hadn’t discussed it with him. Sidney didn’t even know what he had done to upset her.
Inside, Sidney was boiling. Alicia’s silence always angered him, but he didn’t want to say anything and make matters worse. So, he rushed to his car and drove off to work. He tried to focus on the upcoming sales meeting, but his mind kept drifting back to Alicia’s silent anger. His body tensed, and without realizing it, he pressed hard on the accelerator. Suddenly, he heard a siren and saw flashing lights. Pulled over, a police officer told him he had been driving 52 km/h in a 35 km/h zone. At that moment, Sidney realized that this violation would mark him as a high-risk driver, causing his car insurance costs to rise significantly.
When Sidney arrived at his office, his head was buzzing with thoughts. He grumbled to himself: What a way to start my day. Just then, the phone rang. On the line was the regional sales manager, furious. He shouted that for four consecutive months Sidney’s region had recorded the lowest sales in the area, and ordered him to fix the situation quickly—or else.
Speaking of stress: Sidney’s glands pumped adrenaline into his system, his nerves tightened, his muscles grew tense, and a headache struck. He swallowed a tranquilizer pill and entered the meeting. Stress was now controlling his behavior. He abandoned his original plan to motivate his team and instead told his sales staff how poor their performance was. He called them lazy and threatened: If you don’t increase sales, we’ll find others who can.
Back in his office, Sidney felt a little better, relieved of some of his stress. But where had that stress gone? He had unloaded it onto his sales staff during the meeting. Now they were the ones who had to deal with his pressure on top of the stress they were already carrying. As you might expect, no one left that meeting feeling motivated to sell. Some left angry, others felt insulted, and some anxious—but none of them felt inspired.
Sidney’s relief from worry, however, was short-lived. One of the company’s biggest clients was furious about a late delivery. Although there was nothing Sidney could do about it, the client unleashed his anger on him. This triggered yet another rush of adrenaline. When Sidney returned home after work, he was still simmering with anger. Before withdrawing to himself, he scolded one of his children harshly. Later, he turned on the TV, but his mind kept replaying the disaster of the day. He told himself: They deserved it. Yet deep down he knew his behavior had cost him dearly. Shaking his head, he muttered aloud: I should’ve stayed in bed—would’ve been much better.
Sidney is an expressive personality type who had shifted into what is called an alternative style—a response to being overloaded with stress. His reaction to this overload was predictable, and so were its results: strained relationships, poor decisions, and low performance.
No single style can handle extreme stress gracefully. Each has its own alternative behaviors. When a person shifts into this alternative style, their behavior serves one purpose: to relieve pressure. The problem is that such behavior usually transfers stress onto others. This can easily become a vicious cycle that risks permanently damaging relationships.
At times, all of us face such overwhelming stress loads that they bring out the worst in us.
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