11:8:59 
2025-02-26 
173
If you are disappointed by a strained relationship with a friend or loved one, you need to realize that every relationship is unique and no one person is responsible for another. That is, you should not let tension with someone convince you that you cannot be a good friend or a loving family member.
Jane has good relationships with her parents and brother, but she did not have that relationship with her sister. She was frustrated, and asked herself why she could not have the same relationship with her sister as her parents and brother did. What was wrong? What Jane does that pleases her parents and brother has the opposite effect on her sister.
What seems charming and fun to the rest of the family seems the opposite to her sister. Jane has to change her positive relationships to please her sister, and that is a difficult thing to do.
Why not take the positive relationships that we enjoy with some people and apply them to everyone we know? The answer, as psychologists at McGill University in Canada say, is that “people are very complex and have many sides,” and their reactions are not identical.
So what can we do? We need to accept that our compatibility is clear with most of the people we love, not all of them, and this is not a flaw but a fact. The university researchers explain that “the most contented people do not have happy relationships with all people. They understand their happy relationships and accept their imperfect relationships.”
The researchers found that there is no difference in happiness in general between those who rely primarily on friends and those who rely on family, and people have the ability to create happiness from the relationship they have, and they do not need all their relationships to match the ideal image.
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