Factors affecting raising children

12:19:14

2023-07-20

1565

There are three issues that can play a major role in shaping the child’s personality, but the influence of these three issues does not mean that he is out of his choice. If we assume that a child was affected by a certain atmosphere and deviated from the path of righteousness, this does not mean that he is forced to follow the path of deviation, rather the circumstances surrounding him helped him to make a bad choice and deviation.

Because of the importance of these three circumstances, we, the parents, should pay attention to them, because parents are primarily responsible for monitoring and maintaining the circumstances surrounding their children and for their upbringing and supervision. The three circumstances are:

1- The two parents

In the eyes of the child, the parents are the complete model, and the first role model that he tries to imitate. Therefore, the child looks at their actions as the right ones, so he does not consider that what they are doing is wrong, but rather the criterion of correctness for him is the same as the action of the parents, and therefore the parents bear responsibility towards the child from several aspects:

A- Their agreement and difference

When a child opens his eyes to life in conditions full of tension and turmoil between his parents, especially when they fight in front of his eyes, this wrong behavior on the part of the parents always makes the child's psyche troubled and tense.

B- Not to disclose bad habits

Because the child will carry with him these habits because he considers them to be a perfection and not a bad one, even if he gets used to doing them from childhood, following the example of his parents, then even if he knows of their ugliness at the stage of awareness, it is difficult to uproot them at that time, and the family bears the responsibility for that, especially if these habits are among the Shari’a prohibitions based on the rule of the honorable hadith narrated from the Noble Messenger (may God bless him and his family): He shall have his burden and the burden of whoever acts upon it.”

2- The school

The school is the second environment from which the child takes his first knowledge, and therefore the choice of the parents for the appropriate school for the child has a great role in preserving his religious integrity so that he is brought up on the righteous principles that parents want their child to carry when he grows up.

3- Friends

Parents should pay close attention to the danger of friends, and to how the child chooses them, because the friend influences the friend, and for this reason the narrations stressed the adoption of a good friend. In the narration on the authority of Imam Ali (peace be upon him): (Nothing is more inviting to good, and saved from evil, than the company of the good people).

Just as a bad friend spoils the good as rotten fruit spoils the good fruit, hence the warning in the narrations against the company of the evil ones, as in the hadeeth of Imam Ali (peace be upon him): (The company of the evil people wins evil, like the wind that if it passes through the stench carries our stench).